Clove Gets A Cooking Show
by phantomstimeturner
Summary: Clove starts her own cooking show...with Cato, Glimmer, Marvel, and Peeta to help her. Marvel x Glimmer, some Clato.


"Hello, and welcome to the Career Cooking Show!" Clove waved at the camera. The others (Marvel, Glimmer and Cato) did the same, because Clove had told them she would stab them if they didn't do what she said, and they all believed her.

"Today we will be making Bread and Vegetable Casserole-"

Glimmer raised her hand, interrupting. "Clove, I don't think that exists."

"GO SIT IN THE CORNER!" Clove screamed. Glimmer hung her head and went to the corner. Clove continued. "We will be making Bread and Vegetable Casserole, with our special guest, Peeta Mellark!"

Peeta came in the room, forcing a smile. "Hello everyone!"

"Make some bread," Clove growled.

"What?"

"MAKE. BREAD."

Peeta's eyes widened and he started making the dough. Clove beamed at the camera. "Okay, so the first step is to find a big pan! Glimmer, you can come out of the corner now and find me one."

Glimmer scrambled out of the corner and grabbed a pan from one of the cabinets. Clove slammed it hard on the counter. "Okay! Now we have a pan! Next step is…VEGETABLES!"

She grabbed a huge bag of vegetables from a secret compartment by her feet and spread them all over the counter. "Look at them! Aren't they pretty? LET'S CHOP 'EM UP!" She whipped out one of her huge throwing knives and stabbed a potato.

Marvel borrowed one of the knives and tried slicing an onion, but he started crying because, onions. Clove smacked him on the back of the head. "Be strong, boy! Don't let your emotions affect your cooking skills!"

Marvel nodded grimly and wiped his eyes. He refused to be beaten by an onion.

Glimmer got to cut broccoli, because it was ugly like her and also didn't taste good. Poor Glimmer. Poor, confused Glimmer.

Clove sliced the potatoes with crazy knife movements, and Cato frowned slowly. "Clove, aren't you supposed to use a cutting board for that?"

"Go get me one, loser," Clove snarled. She was still slicing potatoes.

Cato looked through the drawers of the kitchen. "Hey, Clove, I found this book, and I think it has like, recipes or something…"

"PUT IT BACK!" Clove shrieked. "PUT IT BACK AND DON'T TOUCH IT!"

Cato quickly shoved the book back where he'd found it and brought the cutting board to Clove. She almost stabbed him in the eye.

Peeta continued working on his bread. He carved "help I'm a hostage" into the dough, hoping that someone watching this cooking show would see and save him.

When the counter was completely covered in vegetable shreds, Clove took the pan Glimmer had brought and started shoving things in it. Marvel hesitated. "Uh, Clove, maybe we should just use one of those recipes Cato found…"

"GO SIT IN THE CORNER!" Clove screeched. "YOU ARE KICKED OUT OF THE CAREERS FOR EVEN SUGGESTING THAT! I'M A COOKING GENIUS! I CAN MAKE RECIPES UP IN MY HEAD!"

Marvel sighed and went to the corner. He saw that Glimmer had drawn a smiley face on the wall.

"Glimmer, we need noodles," Clove barked. "You have to make them, because they're stupid like you."

Glimmer nodded and started boiling water. She was very good at making noodles.

Cato helped Clove put all the vegetables in the pan. He hid her knives, so she couldn't stab him. "Okay Clove, what do we do next?"

"Jabberjay meat," she growled. "We need to fry some and put it in here."

Cato didn't think that would taste very good, but he didn't say that. "Clove, we don't have any jabberjay meat."

"THEN GO KILL ONE!" she howled. "NOW!"

He sighed and went outside. He borrowed Katniss's bow and shot three birds down from the sky. "Okay, I have the birds."

"COOK THEM!" Clove ordered.

Cato did. He was actually a good cook.

Clove finished her vegetable mission and went to check on Glimmer's noodles. She screamed. "THOSE ARE THE WRONG NOODLES! YOU CAN'T PUT SPAGHETTI NOODLES IN VEGETABLE BREAD CASSEROLE!"

Glimmer whimpered. "But…they're my favorite noodles. And this is a recipe made up out of your head, so we can do what we want, right?"

"NO, WE HAVE TO DO WHAT _**I**_ WANT!" Clove barked. "GO SIT IN THE CORNER!"

Glimmer sighed and went to the corner again. Marvel was still there, so they played on their phones and became Facebook friends.

Since Glimmer obviously couldn't be trusted, Clove made the noodles this time. Macaroni. Because that was the way it was supposed to be.

"Clove, the bread is done," Peeta gulped.

"Put it in the pan!" Clove ordered.

Peeta looked down at the bread, a long round loaf. "It won't fit."

"THEN SLICE IT!" Clove yelled. She threw a knife at him, almost hitting him in the ear. "AND THERE'S A KNIFE! GOOD LUCK!"

Peeta took the knife and cut the bread into slices. Then he stabbed himself, because the Careers were too much for him to handle.

Marvel looked up from Crossy Road to see the corpse on the floor. "Clo-ove, Peeta died!"

"Another one?" Clove complained. "Dang, I hope he didn't bleed on the bread. I don't want blood in my casserole."

Cato went to check, and he confirmed that there was no blood on the bread. Then he took Peeta outside and left him there.

Glimmer didn't really mind being stuck in the corner. She took selfies and tweeted "one of the cooks in the kitchen just committed suicide XD #YOLO"

Clove put the jabberjay meat and noodles into the vegetable pan. Cato watched nervously. "Okay, what now?"

"Now…WE COOK IT!" Clove yelled excitedly. She turned the oven to one thousand degrees and threw the casserole in there. "It has to stay there for twenty minutes and thirty-seven seconds exactly, because that is the way I like it. Thank you."

Cato set the timer and sat down. "Shouldn't we turn the camera off?"

"No."

"But…usually they just skip right from the making part to when the food is done."

"I don't care. I want everyone to watch us."

Cato sighed.

Clove practiced throwing her knives at the ceiling. One of them fell and almost landed in the corner, but Glimmer and Marvel didn't notice because they were too busy falling in love. Clove almost smiled. If she actually had emotions, she would think they were cute together.

"Can I come out of the corner?" Glimmer whined.

"NO!" Clove growled.

"But I have to go to the bathroom." Glimmer looked up, eyes wide and concerned.

Clove sighed. "Fine, but if you're not back in twenty seconds, you don't get to eat any of the casserole."

Glimmer went into the bathroom and hid there for five entire minutes. Glimmer was stupid, but not that stupid.

"THAT WAS LONGER THAN TWENTY SECONDS!" Clove smirked. "No casserole for you. Now get back in the corner."

The timer went off. Clove jumped out of her seat and opened the oven. Then she screamed. "It's on fire! Like Katniss!"

Cato ran to grab a fire extinguisher, and he sprayed it all over the fiery casserole of nightmares. Clove screamed louder. "OH MY GOD CATO YOU RUINED IT! WE CAN'T EAT THAT OR WE'LL GET POISONED!"

"But it was ON FIRE," he protested.

Clove stabbed him and sobbed next to her beloved casserole. It was ruined, broken beyond repair. She looked up directly into the camera, face covered in tears. "I have given up. This is the last you will ever hear of me, the amazing Chef Clove."

She jumped over Cato's dead body and ran out of the room, still sobbing. Cato was dead. Peeta was dead. All her viewers would need therapy. It was the best episode of her cooking show yet.

Meanwhile, Glimmer and Marvel were still in the corner. Marvel had ordered a ring off eBay, and he now proposed to Glimmer with it. With tears in her eyes, she accepted.

THE END

7


End file.
